Zucchini "Apple" Pie

Nope, that's not a typo up there in the title. That's apple pie made with ZUCCHINI.  I was a skeptic - especially 'cause I'm not a huge fan of the zuke. So when I inherited this GINORMOUS, baseball bat-esque zucchini from a friend and she said......."Oh, I just make apple pie with it!"  I said......Ha, pfft, sure, you must be joking me. 

My loving husband heard "apple pie" and that's how I began my pie-making adventure.

***Scroll down to the bottom now  if you really don't care how I got from point A to point B and just want to know how it worked out. The rest of you can follow my shenanigans in the kitchen as I hit every pit stop along the way!****

Seeing as this was my first pie-making attempt, I checked my trusty Mennonite Girls Can Cook site where I learned that the recipe on the back of the Tenderflake lard box was a safe bet. 

WRONG.  Maybe it's 'cause I'm only half Mennonite. Or maybe I'm bad at following directions.  I don't know but it didn't really work out so well for me.

So, I roll it out, it sticks to the counter. Start again.  Roll it out. Stick to counter. Add more flour. EPIC FAIL.  About this time, I knocked my entire bin of flour off the counter.  I left it there for two hours.

One thing that went RIGHT for me was using the slicer blade on my food processor to chop my zucchini.  Normally you're supposed to pre-cook the zucchini but naturally I forgot that step.  Luckily my trusty processor sliced it so finely that it cooked up nice and soft anyway.

The other thing I suggest you try is....USE A RECIPE. In hindsight I could've just gone to allrecipes.com and followed this recipe but no, I always insist on just winging it.

So I guess you're still wondering how it turned out eh?  Well, you honest-to-goodness would NEVER know the difference.  So next time you're faced with obscenely large zucchini's - make apple pie!