You know that moment when you're standing toe to toe with your dearest - he is being so unloving and refuses to hear you out - and all you want to do is wrap both hands around his scrawny neck and squeeeeeeeeeeeeze? But instead of squeezing, you repeat all the reasons you're right, over and over and over and over again, with as many different wordings that you can come up with.
And where do you get? NOWHERE
My friend, I'd like to inform you that in that moment, you are on the Crazy Cycle.
We've been watching a series of video's with our Young Married's bible study by Emerson Eggerichs called the Love and Respect Conference. And man is it good. It's one of those, slap ya in the face, spin ya around and make you look at everything from a completely different perspective.......your husband's. Who knew.
The Crazy Cycle is negative emotions feeding negative emotions. Men thrive on respect. This should not be a surprise. And women, we thrive on love. But when a man acts unloving toward his wife, how does she often react? DISRESPECTFUL. And when a man feels disrespected by his wife, how does he act? UNLOVING. Do you see the Crazy Cycle?! It's easy to see, but so much harder to get off! Here's a perfect example.
We watched the last session tonight and what really hit me was this:
The real relationship is between us, as individuals, and our Lord. And for a small fraction of eternity, our spouse passes between us and God. For that short time, my reverance to God will spill over to my husband. The example Emerson uses is to imagine God standing behind your spouse, saying "Don't worry about Joe, focus on Me. Show reverence to Me. Let Joe go, love and respect Me." When we are focussed on being one with Christ, he will give us the strength to love our spouse for who God made them to be, thick skull and all.
This Conference opened my eyes to so many things. It is an amazing video series. Emerson is sooo sooooo easy to listen to...and really funny! I totally recommend it for watching with a close-knit small group. It's for young-married's like us and for old-marrieds too! Please take a minute and look into it. Read some his articles. You won't regret it.