Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I'm mad because I feel like I have no one to support me. Who wants to hear about these things? It's dirty, taboo laundry in Christian circles. No one wants to ask about things like this, can I blame them for not asking?
And mostly I'm mad at myself. I'm mad that I let this get between me and God. I'm mad that I haven't been the prayer warrior for my hubby that he needs me to be. I'm mad that I can't be there for him when he needs me. I'm mad that I can't meet his deepest need without feeling used and dirty. I'm mad that after all this time I still feel like nothing has changed. When will it get better? Will it ever feel better?
Oh and I'm mad at my mom too, but for completely unrelated reasons.